Our Story

Periodical Inc, Incorporated is more than just a multinational conglomerate with far-reaching influence across sectors ranging from politics to makeup to finance to perverted media. We’re a family. And the way we conceive of “family” demonstrates that we’re a family more than anyone else who claims to be one. Watch: Family. Fam... Ily. Fam, I love you. “Fam” is short for “Family” and “Ily” is short for “I love you” So, the way we read it, “Family” actually stands for “Family Family I love you.” That’s how much we’re a family. We choose to interpret the word in a way that gets “Family” in there twice, as well as “I love you”, which shows how much we love our family.

The Periodical story starts way back in March 2022 when Eytan Boclin released the first issue of his free piece of paper with bullshit written on it. Soon after the publication of issue two, a consortium led by male director Damien Chazelle began aggressively investing in the enterprise. Seeing the value of what Mr. Boclin had created – and noting that the man himself seemed completely unaware of said earning potential – Mr. Chazelle and his partners established a new ownership structure. Periodical Inc Incorporated was born, along with its board and several new subdivisions within the company, including:

• Periodical Consulting Group On Fleek, a management consulting firm that poached half of McKinsey’s clients and all of Bain’s eggs. “The fact that I can’t enlist in Periodical Consulting Group makes me want to commit violence on both myself and others” – Mayor Pete and Mitt Romney, at exactly the same time, unplanned.
• Branding by P, a branding agency that harnesses the power of information to sell stuff in a way that claws away at the social fabric.
• Periodical Holdings Limited, an investment fund that gives companies money in exchange for both control of their operations and future money they generate. Sounds like it wouldn’t be allowed, but in fact in many circles this kind of conduct is actively encouraged.
• MySoil, a line of farm-to-table dirt that is basically just packaging dirt and selling it to people, making it by far the most cost-efficient farm-to-table service on the planet.
• Periodical Insurance Group, which recently developed a policy for our friends at State Farm where if one of the clients blows themselves up, State Farm will run an ad where Jake from State Farm jerks off on their gravestone in lieu of financial payment.
• Drill4Crude, a pretty ruthless fracking operation, even for us. When other departments see the kind of stuff these guys are up to they’re like, “My god, wow.”
• And much more. Click here to read about more of the literal thousands of projects we’re working on.