Get your weight up. Here at Periodical, we believe in the transformative power of getting your weight up. Nothing we’ve seen is a better remedy for if you’re a bitch. That’s why instead of shaking hands to greet each other at work, our policy is to slap one’s own chest, flex both arms, and yell 'Pura cuerpa!' really loud. This is happening several times a day at our offices.
5. This is just true. There are 5 abdominal muscles, so that is a core value. This kind of annoying, unproductive bullshit is a priority at Periodical and indicative of our commitment to compromise, as Mr. Boclin was the only member of our board to vote for it, and since he created the magazine, we have to appease him. Not for long, though. Wait, should we put that in here? That kind of malicious, foreboding language? Eh yeah why not. If he gets mad about it, I have a gun.
Get comfortable with discomfort. No change ever emerged from the comfort zone, so get comfortbable being uncomfortable. However, once you’re used to being uncomfortable, that means you’ll have become comfortable . So it’s time to get uncomfortable again, which now means getting out of discomfort, and back into comfort. Put your feet up, relax, give yourself a break. But, oh no, look. You’re comfortable again. So put your feet down, stress out, and chastise yourself. Now you're cooking. Go around this cycle non-stop until you decide to either kill yourself or accept your new unhappy reality. Adapt or die.